Monday, December 27, 2010

Friggin' In The Riggin'

Continuing the epic exploits of other AETs (Assistant English Teachers) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in Tochigi-ken, Japan, ladies and gentlemen, someone (probably) introduces the introduction of one Jeff Seaman and his literary contributions to the Tatami Times, a monthly newsletter for Tochigi JET-paying members.
Jeff is originally from Yuba City, California - married a local Japanese girl and then stayed in Japan. He is still there, I believe.
Here we go, in Jeff's own words:

Seaman's Shorts
(I thought of a lot worse, so be thankful.)
  • I don't like Japanese food, so when I visited Sendai and Ichinoseki, I ran into a bit of a problem. Solution? For three days and two nights I ate at Mr. Donut. Konisiki eat - and he does - your heart out.
  • My favourite question from my sho-gakko (Primary school) visits: "Why do you speak English?"
  • I get a peculiarly perverted pleasure from riding the streets of Sano-shi (City of Sano) and hearing children cry out: "Seaman! Seaman!" (Actually, it's more like 'Shi-man! Shiman!', but it's the thought that counts.)
  • I was hit by a car! I was hit by a car! I can join The Club!
  • A Fun English Class: A couple of nights a week, I play basketball with local guys here in Sano. As one might expect from 'jocks', they like to practice American slang. Last week after playing, a young guy came up to me and said: "You pen-is."
    • "No, no. Pea-nis. Pea-nis."
    • Pea-nis."
    • "Ah, good. Okay, now one more time, please repeat after me - pea-nis."
    • "Pea-nis."
He was a quick learner.
  • Ya think the reason they all drive so bad over here is that they're exacting revenge on their driving schools? (Hey, if I had to pay that much, I'd be looking for revenge, too.)
  • A parking ticket in Japan costs ¥15,000 ($150.00 US or Canadian).
Somewhere somehow glad the parking ticket my wife thinks she has hidden from me only cost $40 (¥4,000).
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is courtesy of: The Sex Pistols. I chose it because there are Seaman singing about their voyage. FRIGGIN'  Language warning, though.
PS: I was blown away that Jeff did not like Japanese food. I mean, what the fa - ? Every school lunch I get five days a week is Japanese food. My dinner's? Maybe three or four times a week. How can one man eat that many doughnuts or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and still survive. And Jeff, as mentioned, survived three years on  JET in Sano and then married a Japanese woman - what the hell is he eating?
PPS: Konishiki is a Hawaiian sumo wrestler who weighed in as the heaviest ever wrestler.
PPPS: The club Jeff is talking about includes myself, Catherine (Gasoline) and quite a few more AETs who were hit by car, but probably don't recall it.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...