Wednesday, December 8, 2010

San Francisco

True story.
Sometimes I like to buy flowers for my apartment. It's to make it look nicer, and to make it smell like something other than my chili con carne or my farts (I mentioned chili).
I don't spend a fortune - maybe Y1000 ($10), but for that amount I get a large bouquet of mixed flowers.
You might have thought that I might be buying flowers to either give to a girl or to impress them by being in touch with my feminine side. Nope. It was purely selfish - I just wanted my place to look better. If it happened to get me laid, that was merely an innocent byproduct of having a nice smelling apartment, a winning personality, great hair, a super sexy body and no ego.
Anyhow, on one particular evening, some of the ladies from my Ohtawara International Friendship Association night school English class came over to give me a birthday present. It was very thoughtful of them but completely unnecessary. And who told them it was my birthday soon? Probably me. Okay... so maybe I have a little bit of an ego.
Upon entering, all four of them immediately told me my place smelled wonderful and that they could hardly smell my farts. Even better they did it in English. Man, I'm a great English teacher!
Walking further into my place they saw my flower arrangement sitting on my dining room table for two. Okay... rather than use a vase, I had a 6-inch by 4-inch metal plate that was covered in spikes - it's so you can impale the bottom of a stem onto it to hold a flower upright. The plate is placed in a shallow dish with water covering it.I had placed my 10 flowers in some sort of mishmash that looked good to this 26-year-old man's eyes.
All of them asked me if I had taken ikebana classes to learn how to do it, each swearing that I am very skilled.
Ikebana is the Japanese art of flower arranging that I have apparently mastered without having to learn anything.
Apparently people take these classes for years and years and years to achieve the same result as myself after a mere two-minutes - 90 seconds of which was spent looking for a bandage after I stuck my finger on several metal spikes that while able to hold up a flower stem, also do an admirable job on my ikebana master green thumb.

Somewhere mastering all of the Japanese arts,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is brought to you by Scott McKenzie - FLOWERSINYOURHAIR.
PS: No... I'm sure I wasn't an ikebana master. Rather I'm sure what I witnessed was the Japanese ability to lie in a nice, convincing manner to make this homesick boy feel better about everything in Japan. And you know what? It worked. I love Japan because it is a wonderful rife.

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