Thursday, December 23, 2010

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict

Here in 2010, I rediscovered my old Tatami Times issues that I put together featuring a lot of writing by myself and other AETs (Assistant English Teachers) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme. The newsletter was a prefectural/provincial monthly magazine for everyone who was a dues-paying member of JET.

I took over the business of running the Tatami Times from the gorgeous blonde Catherine Komlodi back in April of 1991 - at least that was when I published (IE photocopied and mailed out) the book. To thank Catherine - whose name was near-impossible for the Japanese to say clearly... they called her Ga-so-rin (Gasoline) - I wrote a too-long biography on her. I really did have a huge crush on her - but except for 20 years later, I've not mentioned it. I know Catherine was originally from Calgary in Canada, but now in 2010, wherever she is, I'm sure she is excelling at it.

Here we go - Andrew's writing from 20 years ago!:

Umma Gumma you know
Oh, waydago Catherine! Now you've gone and done it. You're walking away from the editorship of the Tatami Times - and for what? Fun and travel? Geez.
The worst part is I am now the editor (henceforth to be known as the Supreme Commander Of Our Lives - SCOOL).
I felt that my first job as the editor should be an introspective retrospective look into the life of Catherine (Cathy, cat, Miss. Kitty) Komlodi. This is a nice way for me to get back at her say thank-you for all her help.
Catherine was born at an early age. So early that she doesn't remember more than a handful of images. When asked what the highlight of her career as a baby was, she replied: "A-goo-goo-goo, A-ga-ga-ga that's all I want to say to you." Ahhh. Stimulating.
Apparently there was a mix-up at the hospital, with the stork supposed to be bringing a feline to the Komlodi family, not a female. Deciding to make the best of a trying situation, her parents chose an appropriate name: Cat-herine.
Her parents were extremely proud of their brown-haired beauty. They were ecstatic when she scratched her first couch and when she could use the 'box' by herself.
Catherine was clearly a gifted child. Deciding at an early age to become an astronomer, she marched through highschool and university with honours.
However, she soon have up her life's ambition when she discovered she would have to work nights.
She then applied to the JET Programme.
"I always liked flying," she remarked during her interview.
Undaunted, they hired her anyway.
Her first year as the Kanuma Chu Gakko (Kanuma Junior High School) AET was memorable. She caught her lovely flowing white dress in the spokes of her bicycle causing a heinous accident. (SCOOL note: bicycle accidents are apparently a must for all Canadians applying for the job as Tatami Times editor.)
"Also, that was the year my water pipes froze and burst," lamented Cat.
But it was all sugar and spice from then as she quickly rose through the Tochigi-ken AET ranks to become not only the Central Representative, but the Northern one, too.
Then, after Stefanie Housman was incarcerated for ink inhalation, Catherine was volunteered for the job as Tatami Times editor.
She accepted saying, "You don't have to work nights, do you?"
Taking an immense pride in her new-found responsibilities, she begged encouraged her fellow AETs and CIRs (Coordinator for International Relations) on JET to submit to her (my... how... dominating).
Realizing there were a few egos she could manipulate, the Tatami Times became a cherished item in our mailbox.
"Hey, I had fun," recalled Catherine. "Do you realize the power I felt knowing I could tell you puny gnats anything and you would believe it?" (SCOOL note: Hmm, it sounds like someone has been reading too many comic books).
She said she would miss being editor.
"I will miss being editor," explained Catherine in further detail.
When asked to expound, she realized she and the interviewer didn't know the meaning of the word.
"My one complaint, though is that they don't give you any money to do this job," wailed Catherine. (SCOOL note: Huh? No money?!!)
Well Catherine, I'm sure we'd all like to thank-you for your time and effort on our behalf. Good luck.

Somewhere thinking I should have made a play,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Pink Floyd. I chose this long titled "song" because it's the wackiest piece on the Ummagumma album... which is what I originally used as the title for Catherine's fake bio. PICT and Catherine was wacky - and hot.
PS: In the photo above, submitted by Marina Izatt (AET) with Catherine (on the right) and Marina's son Douglas Izatt on the left. It was originally entitled by me: Gorilla My Dreams for obvious reasons. The photo was long since returned to Marina - unfortunately, black and white is all you get.

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