Monday, August 1, 2011

Cathy's Clown

If yesterday was any indication of how my second-year in Japan was going to be - what with a another guy trying to poach a woman I was talking to - then hold on to your hats, o reader... things get interesting.

It's Sunday, September 22, 1991 here in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan... I'm an assistant English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme... and I spent most of the first year in a committed relationship with Ashley, a woman from Augusta, Georgia in the USA, whom I met on my second day here. Whenever she would break up with me... some other woman would magically show up at my door willing to take her place.
It's sounds like pure fantasy... but let me assure you that what I write here is true. I'm not the best-looking guy in the world, or the smartest or the funniest... and as I'm sure you can all attest, I am hardly the best writer in the world... but there's nothing wrong with being second-best.
Perhaps by accident, perhaps by design... I am no longer sure what the heck I was thinking, but I did realize that here in Japan, all the gaijin (foreigner) men were chasing Japanese women. I was at a distinct disadvantage owing to the fact that I was shy and could not speak the language. By shy I mean that I couldn't or wouldn't make the first move.
As such... I had a whole lot of gaijin women on the JET Programme who did not seem very interested in being hit on by a plethora of drunken Japanese men, but did not seem to mind one drunken Canadian man. Me.
I slept with a couple of Japanese women and some Thai women and about seven other AETs during my first year in Japan... and I was looking to add a few more to that number... or so I thought.
Ashley and I had broken up, but we did remain friends-with-benefits. Trouble is... I was still in love with her. I hate failing at anything. I had done enough of that in the past back in Canada... but by re-inventing myself here, I vowed to exude self-confidence... even if I wasn't self-confident.
It's all about perceptions.  
Today... I get up at 12:30PM. Blah.
I do some laundry which helps me think.
Catherine, one of the new AETs who had arrived in Japan a month and a half ago from England calls me up and invites herself over.
When she arrives an hour later, I show her around town, discovering quite a few things myself that I'll have to look at in greater detail later.
We arrive back at my apartment at 6PM - Ashley phones.
I invite her over.
I'm pretty sure that Catherine likes me too much... and I only like her. I'm afraid I may have led her on quite a bit, as I spent a lot of time showing the newcomers around Tokyo (with Matthew), and around the Tochigi-ken capital of Utsunomiya (again with Matthew). I'm afraid my outgoing, friendly personality and my willingness to call up the newcomers (actually... most of the people I called were women) (I am a dog).
Anyhow... Ashley, Catherine and I go to Tsubuhachi - a local restaurant I enjoy before heading over to the 4C bar - a bar I enjoy.
Matthew comes over with his friend Robert and some other Japanese girl I met last night when mutual acquaintance Kevin was pissing me off by trying to intervene in my picking up of a beautiful Japanese woman at the 4C.
Sitting at a bar table, Catherine is on my right and Ashley is on my left.
Catherine begins making a pass at me by stroking my thigh and moving up quite a bit, if you know what I mean.
I lift up the table cloth slightly and lean over to Ashley and tell her what's going on.
I then ask her to please sleep over at my place.
She said "I'll think about it."
She says: "I'm scandalized that someone would be that horny."
Really, Ashley? You're a funny woman!
After enough drinks to kill a rhino, the three of us stagger home.
Now... I know what you are thinking, and so was I - especially after engaging in a threesome back in Thailand two months ago! But.. you have to know your audience... while I am unsure about Catherine, I was pretty sure Ashley wasn't going to play along.
Ashley asks (in front of Catherine) if I would ride her home to Nishinasuno (about 25 minutes northwest of my apartment), because she is too drunk.
Thanks, Ashley. I owe you one.
I leave Cathy napping on my sofa. I'm still thinking I can do things with her when I get back - probably because I've been drinking.
So... I ride out with Ashley and make her stop near the Ohtawara Wedding Hall. We begin making out - and play grabby pants - but we agree to continue back at her place.
We race over - because nothing gives one energy like the prospect of sex... have some wham-bam-thank-you ma'am and then tell her I;ll see her tomorrow for the best sex she's ever had. She stammers an 'okay' probably  wondering how I was going to top some of the things we have done previously.
I ride home.
It's been an 90 minutes since I left (I told you it was quick with Ashley - which is why I figured I really owed her).
I drag Catherine to bed and immediately begins to strip and kiss me. I have no idea how I'm able to want to do this again - but then again, I remember I am 26.
I hope she doesn't notice how wet my groin is and wonder if I have Ashley's scent all over me... but then that moment quickly passes and I get down to work. Actually, a part of me does hope that she notices.
I pass out for a quick cat nap after I am done, and then get woken up for more.
Are you serious? Doesn't anyone realize I am tired? Hello... penis... I'm tired... go to sleep.... but it doesn't. Again. I'm 26.
As we are doing it, I pop a muscle and it hurts like a bugger.
I am too tired to continue even when it goes back in place.
Christ. Condoms?! It's a good thing I didn't finish inside... but still!
That was stupid.
I go to sleep with her scarecrow blonde hair draped all over my chest - sticky like a cobweb.
What the heck do I do now?
Catherine... sorry, but I don't want a girlfriend.
Ashley... sorry, but I want more than a friend-with-benefits.

Somewhere in a tangled web,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is by the Everly Brothers: WEB  

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